Letters To/From Santa

Several years ago I brilliantly came up with the idea of creating an email address for Santa and sending email to the family requesting their Christmas lists.  Ellen was  a freshman in college that year, I think, and was seriously freaked out that some mysterious person had emailed her in the name of Santa.  She wondered who the creeper could be and called to tell me all about it.  Abby caught on right away, but played along and had to stop herself from laughing when Ellen said to her, "You got an email too?"  It was too much fun and Santa has continued to send emails each year ever since.  Usually it takes repeated emails and threats of "you won't get anything if you don't respond by Friday" to bleed the lists out of everyone.  A couple of years ago, Abby copped an attitude and called Santa "old" and "creeper".  She got coal and a note in her stocking that year.  Seriously.

This year Santa sent the following email:

Dear Chamberlains,


Christmas is still a few months away, but there is much to do and budgets must be set so I must request your Christmas list much earlier this year.  That will give me time to evaluate your naughty-/nice-ness and give accordingly. Therefore, please reply with your wish list and a statement supporting your worthiness of said list. I will confirm your statement with my behavior-tracking elves and then will give accordingly and most joyfully. In the past at least one of you has displayed some attitude in response to this email. I strongly discourage that this year as Santa grows weary of your game.

Thank you and Merry not-quite-Christmas-season

S. Claus

After stating what she wanted, Kelly said the following in her reply,
 
"As for the statement supporting my worthiness...i have been mercilessly teased at school and other places. i shall say no more.

love

kelly chamberlain"

I am aware of the problem at school, but it still hurt to read that in her letter.  Here is Santa's reply in return,

"Dearest Kelly,

I shall strive to fulfill your Christmas wishes, though I must confer with your parents on certain items. Your statement of worthiness tears my heart and I assure you that said teasers are on my most naughtiest of lists. There is not enough coal in the world for their stockings. Though I have no intention of rewarding such abhorent behavior with gifts, I fear their parents will. Alas, I can only remind you to turn the other cheek (you know which one I mean).

Love,

S. Claus

Turning the other cheek is code for us.  We were talking about her situation at schoolone day and I told her that Jesus said to turn the other cheek, but sometimes that isn't very satisfying.  She responded, "I'll turn the other cheek . . . all four of them."  That cracked me up and I told her that when the kids bother her she should turn around and walk away while thinking, "I'm turning the other cheek, this one right here," while mentally patting her backside.  Abby thinks I'm quite naughty, but Kelly and I get a laugh out of it every day.

That said, please pray for Kelly.  She is struggling.